Service of Blessing

Policy on Celebrations of the Covenant Union of Two People

Adopted by Session, September 2005

I. Statement from the Pastor on Services of Celebration of Marriage or Holy

Union

When we gather at Clarendon Presbyterian Church to celebrate the faith, hope, love and

commitment of two individuals to build a common life together, we gather to worship and honor

God and to celebrate the wondrous diversity of God’s good creation.

We gather in the presence of God to witness the joining together of two individuals, to surround

them with our love and with our prayers, and to ask God’s blessing upon them that they may be

strengthened for their lives together. The union that we celebrate is a gift from the heart of God

so that two people may help and comfort one another, living faithfully together in plenty and in

want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, throughout all their days.

God graces us with this gift for the full _expression of love between two people, who belong to

each other, and with affection and tenderness freely give themselves to one another. God graces

us with this gift for the well-being of society, for the ordering of family life, and for the nurture

of children.

God graces us with this gift as a holy mystery, in which two become one just as Christ is one

with the church. In holy union, whether honored by the state in marriage or not, the beloved are

called to a new way of life, created, ordered and bless by God. This way of life must not be

entered into carelessly, or from selfish motives, but responsibly and prayerfully.

We rejoice, then, in this gift, and insist that is shall be honored by all.

Our Commitment to Nondiscrimination

Clarendon Presbyterian Church, a progressive, inclusive and diverse community of faith, seeks

to honor each individual as a beloved child of God, understanding that God loves each of us

without regard to race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religious belief or any of the

numerous other distinctions that human beings use to distinguish one from another. Such

distinctions are too often used as the foundation for discrimination against members of groups

without power within given cultures. Too often, the church has been complicit in such injustice.

In our time, gay, lesbian, transgendered and bisexual individuals face painful discrimination in

the culture and within the church. Civil laws governing the rights to marriage and to other forms

of life partnership are overwhelmingly discriminatory against gay, lesbian, transgendered and

bisexual couples. Whatever the symbolic meaning of marriage, the real legal aspects are

crucially important and same-sex couples face daily discrimination related to taxes, wills,

property ownership, rights of next-of-kin, Social Security and others. This is particularly,

painfully true in the Commonwealth of Virginia today.

Therefore, responding to God’s call to do justice, to the command of Jesus the Christ that we

love one another as he loves us, and to the Presbyterian Book of Order statement that “The

Biblical vision of doing justice calls for: … supporting people who seek the dignity, freedom, and

respect that they have been denied; … redressing wrongs against individuals, groups and peoples

in the Church, in this nation, and in the whole world” (W-7.4002), the pastor of Clarendon

Presbyterian Church will not participate as an agent of the state authorized to pronounce legal

marriages.

Much of the present discrimination against sexual minorities in our culture focuses on the rights

of same-sex couples to enter into committed life relationships that will have standing in civil

courts. The church understands this legal aspect of marriage, and defines marriage, in part, in the

Book of Order as a “civil contract between a woman and a man. For Christians marriage is a

covenant through which a man and a woman are called to faithfully live out together before God

their lives of discipleship. In a service of Christian marriage a lifelong commitment is made by a

woman and a man to each other, publicly witnessed and acknowledged by the community of

faith” (W-4.9001).

We honor the lifelong commitments made by men and women in this community, and we

celebrate them. We will continue to celebrate heterosexual marriages and same-gender holy

unions in the sanctuary at Clarendon, but we will ask heterosexual partners first to have their

legal marriage vows witnessed by a duly authorized agent of the state and their marriage licenses

signed by such an agent. We acknowledge that this adds a slight cost and an additional burden on

couples. To lessen this impact, we will decrease the fees charged for marriages by an amount

commensurate with additional fees (presently $30), and we will provide as much guidance as

possible through the Arlington County court process.

II. Same-sex Holy Unions/Convenantal Ceremonies

For same-gender couples, the Commonwealth of Virginia not only refuses to issue marriage

licenses or to recognize equivalent legal rights or obligations but is seeking to write such

discrimination into its constitution. While some same-gender couples create legal policy

statements- ‘domestic partnership agreements’, wills, powers of attorney, guardianship, etc.,- to

duplicate some of the benefits of legal marriage, the Commonwealth has acted to make such

agreements null and void. Some benefits accorded to married couples, e.g. Social Security

benefits, income tax, and child custody, can be granted only by state and federal laws and

licenses. Therefore, it remains impossible to speak of “marriage” for same gender couples.

Beyond the civil situation, most Christian communities currently deny same gender couples the

opportunity to acknowledge their faithfulness to one another and to celebrate the joining of their

lives and spirits within the church. This was not always the case. Research into early Christian

church liturgies by the late Yale University historian John E. Boswell found Catholic and

Orthodox liturgies for same-sex unions. These ceremonies were performed throughout

Christendom into modern times.

The Presbyterian Church’s constitution, the Book of Order, says “The Christian community

provides nurture for its members through all of life and life’s transitions. … The church offers

nurture to people assuming responsibilities in the world, assisting them: … with making wise

commitments in personal relationships and marriage.” (W-6.2000-2002) “The Church recognizes

transitions which bring joy and sorrow in human life: … households are established, move to new

locations, gain and lose members; people are empowered, restored, make new commitments.”

(W-6.3010) The Book of Order provides that the worship service is appropriate when people

“make and renew covenants”. (W-2.6001[e.1]) Therefore, it is consistent with the Book of Order

to bless and celebrate same sex covenants with ceremonies in the church.

III. Requirements for Celebrations of Marriage or Holy Union at Clarendon

Participation in the Life of the Community: Ordinarily the pastor of Clarendon Presbyterian

Church shall be the worship leader at all services of celebration of marriage or of holy union.

When you ask the pastor of this church to conduct such a service, you are not asking him/her to

legitimize your status in society, but rather that God may bless your relationship. In requesting

that the ceremony be performed in the church you are asking for a worship service at the same

time. Participating in such a service demonstrates that you have a vital faith in God and a sincere

desire to understand and live up to the meaning of a committed relationship as described in the

statement above. We ask couples who are not members of this congregation to worship with us

on Sunday morning at least four times before entering into conversations about the process of

holding a service of celebration here.

Pre-celebration counseling: Ordinarily a couple preparing to enter marriage or holy union, and

planning to celebrate that in a service of worship at CPC shall participate in counseling arranged

with the pastor.

License: Heterosexual couples are responsible for obtaining a valid marriage license for

Arlington County , for having their civil marriage vows witnessed and the license signed by a

duly authorized agent of the Commonwealth of Virginia .

Dear Friends,
On January 10th at 10:30 am our church will be opening our doors to invite gay and lesbian couples from our community to get married. Rev. Charles Harlow, Rev. James C. Martin, Rev. Dorothy Brooks and I will be officiating for the weddings.

What my fellow UCC clergy and I will no longer be doing is collaborating with the state of Oregon in a policy of discrimination that grants over 1,140 specific civil rights and benefits to heterosexual couples, while denying those civil rights and benefits to gay and lesbian couples.

The national conversation about the right of same gender loving couples to be married has blurred both the mission of the church and the commitment of the drafters of our constitution to the separation of church and state. We believe gay and lesbian couples have the constitutional right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If marriage isn’t about pursuing happiness, I don’t know what is.

But for the church, marriage is a sacrament, and the state of Oregon has no business telling churches who can and cannot receive its sacraments. Let the church perform the sacrament of marriage. Let the state register couples in civil unions. For too long, churches have participated in the denial of civil rights to same gender loving citizens by its willingness to sign marriage licenses for straight couples and only perform holy unions for gay and lesbian couples. The ordained ministers of our church believe the separation and church and state is good for the church and for the state.

Yours on the Journey,
Pam (Shepherd)

The following is the process Pilgrim Cong. UCC used to help educate the congregation on Refusing to Sign marriage licenses.

November: Pastors constructed a statement on refusing to sign marriage licenses.

Statement was presented to the Church Council for approval.

Church council approved the statement.

December: A Pastoral letter was sent to the congregation stating the Pastors’ statement and announcing an Educational question and answer session.

Question and answer session held after church.

Many informal conversations were held throughout December and January, as well as educational pieces in Newsletters and other publications at the church.

January: Pastors’ statement was presented to the church asking for approval and to make it policy at the Church that the pastors would not sign marriage licenses, nor would any marriage license be signed on church property.

The policy was passed and implemented.

February and March

The Church continued the education process through articles and conversations.

This process was very short for our congregation, due most in part to the church’s large social justice mission.

April 2005

Anticipating resolutions at General Synod pertaining to marriage, members begin drafting a resolution regarding marriage for our congregation. They attended our council meeting and presented the text of a resolution from the Southern California Nevada Conference, which was supported by council and recommended for a congregational vote in May. Members also presented a draft resolution for our congregation.

May

Congregation voted to be a sponsor of the General Synod resolution

July

General Synod passes the resolution. Members launch a Mayflower Marriage Initiative, and preliminary plans are presented to council.

August

Members meet with internal groups about the initiative and plan education for the congregation during the fall and winter, about the initiative but also more broadly about the meaning of marriage. Rev. Campbell preaches on the history of marriage.

September

Newsletter contains an essay with an invitation to the congregation into a conversation on marriage during the year. Materials made available at Gathering Sunday and in our literature racks. Deacons begin to look at Mayflower’s policies on marriage.

October

Pastors present a dialogue sermon on weddings and marriage. Four part Adult Education Series begins. (One: What makes for a good marriage? Two: Which Marriage is real, church or state? ). Begin collecting stories for theater piece on marriage, announcements in church.

November

Met with youth about their perspective on the marriage initiative. Adult Education continues: Skits presented on why marriage is such an emotional issue.

December

Draft resolution for the congregation printed in the newsletter. Box for questions placed at the Welcome Desk and announcements made in church.

January

Q and A on Marriage Initiative in newsletter.
Book Study on Why Marriage Matters.

Adult education class with local representative.

February

Q and A in newsletter. Fourth in Adult Ed series: with Judges on what securing a civil license entails. MMI Theater piece in worship with “talk back” after the service. Initiative committee visits council again.

March

Q and A in newsletter. Draft resolution in newsletter. Congregational meeting and affirmative vote.

Q and A from February, 2006

Q: What is the Mayflower Marriage Initiative?

A: It is a review of our current policies surrounding marriage to make sure we remove any discrimination.

Q: Why are we reviewing our marriage policies?

A: The review is driven both by our ongoing growth as an Open and Affirming Congregation and in response to a call from the UCC Synod 25 to remove any discrimination against same-gender couples.

Q: What is the Mayflower Marriage Initiative Proposal?

A: There are two critical parts to the proposal. The first part is that we will join in sacred marriage covenant any couple that wishes to form such a union. The second part is that we will not participate in the civil, State-sanctioned aspects of marriage at least until such time as all caring, committed couples are allowed to participate.

Q: Doesn’t this discriminate against opposite-gender couples?

A: It asks opposite-gender couples to endure some inconvenience to participate in the civil aspects of marriage. Opposite-gender couples will have to have their marriage licenses signed by a civil authority such as a judge or justice of the peace at the civil official’s location rather than by officiating clergy on Mayflower property. Opposite-gender couples, unlike same-gender couples, will have the option to have their union recognized by the state.

Q: Are their other churches already doing this?

A: Mayflower is again among the leaders in this process. We are aware of one other congregation that has this as their practice if not their stated policy and a second congregation that is ready to take steps similar to ours. We also know that there are more and more clergy that are individually choosing to not participate in the state’s discriminatory practices.

Q: Doesn’t this give up any leverage in the process we might have?

A: We will still be able to join in sacred marriage covenant any couples that wish to do so and any couples that wish can get their union legally recognized, if they are permitted to by law. However, as a step in our growth as an Open and Affirming Congregation these actions make a strong statement in support of marriage equality for all caring, committed couples both to the GLBT community and to the larger community outside our walls.