I came to a decision last Wednesday that – I am ashamed to say – I actually had to wrestle with. I have been deeply moved by the denial of human rights inherent in outlawing marriage for consenting adults who also happen to be gay – some of them partnered longer than I’ve been alive. A colleague has shared that if the courts uphold Proposition 8 – outlawing same-gender marriage – he will refuse to perform any weddings – for anyone – until the decision is reversed.

Ideas about marriage have changed, sometimes dramatically, through-out human history. From polygamy to monogamy; from arrangement to romantic choice; from male headship to mutuality; from stigmatizing inter racial marriage to acceptance. The notion that there has been one definition from the beginning of time is preposterous.

I could no longer continue to sign marriage licenses for some couples while other couples have struggled and fought for years for this basic civil right.

I cannot continue to discriminate against people in our own congregation and community.

One wedding at Spirit of the Lakes stands out in my memory. It was the wedding of Patsy and Beth. Patsy is a former physician and a health educator. Beth is a retired postal service worker. They met at Spirit of the Lakes and they fell in love working in the garden.

A month or so ago, I became clear that I had to do something different in my life. It was one of those experiences that you can’t make happen – it happens to you. I think of it as an epiphany, a time when God’s presence fills us and we are changed in some way.