The following is an example of a church policy made by Clarendon Presbyterian Church, Arlington, VA. in September 2005.
Service of Blessing
Policy on Celebrations of the Covenant Union of Two People
Adopted by Session, September 2005
I. Statement from the Pastor on Services of Celebration of Marriage or Holy
Union
When we gather at Clarendon Presbyterian Church to celebrate the faith, hope, love and
commitment of two individuals to build a common life together, we gather to worship and honor
God and to celebrate the wondrous diversity of God’s good creation.
We gather in the presence of God to witness the joining together of two individuals, to surround
them with our love and with our prayers, and to ask God’s blessing upon them that they may be
strengthened for their lives together. The union that we celebrate is a gift from the heart of God
so that two people may help and comfort one another, living faithfully together in plenty and in
want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, throughout all their days.
God graces us with this gift for the full _expression of love between two people, who belong to
each other, and with affection and tenderness freely give themselves to one another. God graces
us with this gift for the well-being of society, for the ordering of family life, and for the nurture
of children.
God graces us with this gift as a holy mystery, in which two become one just as Christ is one
with the church. In holy union, whether honored by the state in marriage or not, the beloved are
called to a new way of life, created, ordered and bless by God. This way of life must not be
entered into carelessly, or from selfish motives, but responsibly and prayerfully.
We rejoice, then, in this gift, and insist that is shall be honored by all.
Our Commitment to Nondiscrimination
Clarendon Presbyterian Church, a progressive, inclusive and diverse community of faith, seeks
to honor each individual as a beloved child of God, understanding that God loves each of us
without regard to race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religious belief or any of the
numerous other distinctions that human beings use to distinguish one from another. Such
distinctions are too often used as the foundation for discrimination against members of groups
without power within given cultures. Too often, the church has been complicit in such injustice.
In our time, gay, lesbian, transgendered and bisexual individuals face painful discrimination in
the culture and within the church. Civil laws governing the rights to marriage and to other forms
of life partnership are overwhelmingly discriminatory against gay, lesbian, transgendered and
bisexual couples. Whatever the symbolic meaning of marriage, the real legal aspects are
crucially important and same-sex couples face daily discrimination related to taxes, wills,
property ownership, rights of next-of-kin, Social Security and others. This is particularly,
painfully true in the Commonwealth of Virginia today.
Therefore, responding to God’s call to do justice, to the command of Jesus the Christ that we
love one another as he loves us, and to the Presbyterian Book of Order statement that “The
Biblical vision of doing justice calls for: … supporting people who seek the dignity, freedom, and
respect that they have been denied; … redressing wrongs against individuals, groups and peoples
in the Church, in this nation, and in the whole world” (W-7.4002), the pastor of Clarendon
Presbyterian Church will not participate as an agent of the state authorized to pronounce legal
marriages.
Much of the present discrimination against sexual minorities in our culture focuses on the rights
of same-sex couples to enter into committed life relationships that will have standing in civil
courts. The church understands this legal aspect of marriage, and defines marriage, in part, in the
Book of Order as a “civil contract between a woman and a man. For Christians marriage is a
covenant through which a man and a woman are called to faithfully live out together before God
their lives of discipleship. In a service of Christian marriage a lifelong commitment is made by a
woman and a man to each other, publicly witnessed and acknowledged by the community of
faith” (W-4.9001).
We honor the lifelong commitments made by men and women in this community, and we
celebrate them. We will continue to celebrate heterosexual marriages and same-gender holy
unions in the sanctuary at Clarendon, but we will ask heterosexual partners first to have their
legal marriage vows witnessed by a duly authorized agent of the state and their marriage licenses
signed by such an agent. We acknowledge that this adds a slight cost and an additional burden on
couples. To lessen this impact, we will decrease the fees charged for marriages by an amount
commensurate with additional fees (presently $30), and we will provide as much guidance as
possible through the Arlington County court process.
II. Same-sex Holy Unions/Convenantal Ceremonies
For same-gender couples, the Commonwealth of Virginia not only refuses to issue marriage
licenses or to recognize equivalent legal rights or obligations but is seeking to write such
discrimination into its constitution. While some same-gender couples create legal policy
statements- ‘domestic partnership agreements’, wills, powers of attorney, guardianship, etc.,- to
duplicate some of the benefits of legal marriage, the Commonwealth has acted to make such
agreements null and void. Some benefits accorded to married couples, e.g. Social Security
benefits, income tax, and child custody, can be granted only by state and federal laws and
licenses. Therefore, it remains impossible to speak of “marriage” for same gender couples.
Beyond the civil situation, most Christian communities currently deny same gender couples the
opportunity to acknowledge their faithfulness to one another and to celebrate the joining of their
lives and spirits within the church. This was not always the case. Research into early Christian
church liturgies by the late Yale University historian John E. Boswell found Catholic and
Orthodox liturgies for same-sex unions. These ceremonies were performed throughout
Christendom into modern times.
The Presbyterian Church’s constitution, the Book of Order, says “The Christian community
provides nurture for its members through all of life and life’s transitions. … The church offers
nurture to people assuming responsibilities in the world, assisting them: … with making wise
commitments in personal relationships and marriage.” (W-6.2000-2002) “The Church recognizes
transitions which bring joy and sorrow in human life: … households are established, move to new
locations, gain and lose members; people are empowered, restored, make new commitments.”
(W-6.3010) The Book of Order provides that the worship service is appropriate when people
“make and renew covenants”. (W-2.6001[e.1]) Therefore, it is consistent with the Book of Order
to bless and celebrate same sex covenants with ceremonies in the church.
III. Requirements for Celebrations of Marriage or Holy Union at Clarendon
Participation in the Life of the Community: Ordinarily the pastor of Clarendon Presbyterian
Church shall be the worship leader at all services of celebration of marriage or of holy union.
When you ask the pastor of this church to conduct such a service, you are not asking him/her to
legitimize your status in society, but rather that God may bless your relationship. In requesting
that the ceremony be performed in the church you are asking for a worship service at the same
time. Participating in such a service demonstrates that you have a vital faith in God and a sincere
desire to understand and live up to the meaning of a committed relationship as described in the
statement above. We ask couples who are not members of this congregation to worship with us
on Sunday morning at least four times before entering into conversations about the process of
holding a service of celebration here.
Pre-celebration counseling: Ordinarily a couple preparing to enter marriage or holy union, and
planning to celebrate that in a service of worship at CPC shall participate in counseling arranged
with the pastor.
License: Heterosexual couples are responsible for obtaining a valid marriage license for
Arlington County , for having their civil marriage vows witnessed and the license signed by a
duly authorized agent of the Commonwealth of Virginia .
